My Christian Testimony

I first accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, in April of 1974. I wasn't saved in the church but at home, with my mother and the pastor at that time, whose first name escapes me, but his last name was Chenault. Names are not important here. What is important was that at the age of 12, I realized that I needed Jesus to save me. What I didn't know was as a new christian, there were things that I wasn't suppose to do any more, that I was to set an example for lost people and bring them to Jesus as well. Things happened in that church that caused me to feel that I was to blame. I turned away from my savior. Needless to say, no one tried to get me back. I stopped reading, praying and other than my mother telling me that what was happening was not my fault, no one tried to counsel me, a brand new flailing christian. If you fast forward a few years, lets say about 20, I was lead back to God by my daughter of 8 years old. What kind of life did I have in that 20 years away from God? One of drugs, adultery, alcohol, profanity and many other things that are not important any longer. What is important is that my daughter, yes born out of wedlock, was used to bring me back to God. I became very involved with church, attending Sunday school, bible studies, church every time the doors were open. I was asked if I wanted to teach a class for unwed mothers. I gave it a try, but then it was decided that I was not the right kind of teacher. That a man need to teach the class. That was okay, I stepped down. There was a time at this church, Tripp Baptist Church, that for a month of Sundays I walked the aisle to ask for forgiveness and prayer that I would know what God was asking of me. I felt as though I was being led towards a life as a missionary. I attended Criswell College for a semester. I completed the semester, lost my grandfather, finished building a house, and life continued. Once again after the pastor leaving and church pastor less, I left. I didn't totally leave God. I still read my bible, and prayed, but I fell back into some of my old life. I was lonely and wanted someone to love me. I started a prayer journal. I prayed that God would send me a man that would accept me and my daughter just as we were. I was actually pretty specific. That entry in my journal was April 19, 2001. Did God answer my prayer? Yes but it was four years after I asked. During that four years, I did go back to church for awhile, but it was a flailing church with leadership that was not so good. God was still growing that church and I left. I continued to pray to God, and occasionally read my bible. But in November of 2005, God answered my pray for a good christian man, one that would love me and my daughter unconditionally. We both have lead rough lives, but know we are each others soul mates. We went to church together right after we met, hoping to find a church home. We did. His brother was music minister there, and his sister in law played the piano. They still attend the church. I know that in recent days, weeks and months, God is showing my husband and I what we need to do. We rely on God to provide for our needs and He always comes through. I'm learning to walk by faith and not by sight. My thirst for more knowledge of the bible and God is overwhelming. I'm like a sponge and I want to soak it all in and up. My husband and I have spent hours in the last three weeks discussing, talking and him answering my questions. Do I still sin? Of course, I'm human. Do I got to God for forgiveness? Every day, all day long. I guess my hope with sharing my testimony, is that someone will read it and know that just because you accept Jesus as your savior, your duty doesn't just stop there. As new Christians, seek out help for saints in your church, learn how to lead others to God, strive for a life of holiness, purity, and witnessing to others. Do I fall shortly? Most definitely, but I keep trying. I want to learn how to do what the bible teaches us. Will I get there? Only God knows, but that's okay, I know He will continue to send me and show me what and where I need to be. May God Bless you all beyond your hopes, and may He strengthen your faith and walk with him. Love to all, L