As a Christian I try

As Christians we all stumble at times.  I never purposely hurt some one, say anything bad, or and this is the hardest, think bad thoughts about something someone did, or just about a person.  I hope that makes sense. 

I don't do drugs.  I don't drink and haven't since 12/31/2009.  I try to always be courteous, and not sarcastic, and to mind my manners and say things like yes sir, no sir,  thank you, your welcome, and please. I know we all have bad moments and a slip of the tongue.  However, I find it very offensive to get on Facebook and read postings of people who use curse words trying to drive home a point.  Some one told me that people who curse don't have a very big vocabulary. 

Something else I find offensive is people who claim to be Christians, but go out and get drunk, smoke, do drugs, and curse and post all their activities on Facebook and brag that they out drank everyone at the party or at a club or whatever. 

I will be the first to admit that at one point in my life I did drink and get drunk, and do drugs.  I had a child out of wedlock. I lived with my husband before we were married.  So I am no stranger to those things.  However, it was not right then and it is not right now, Christian or not.  I rededicated my life to Christ.  He has forgiven me all my transgressions. 

If you are truly a Christian, believe in God, attend church, then maybe you need to examine your life.  If you are doing anything that is not the will of God, then you need to stop, and ask God to forgive you and make it right with Him.  You can't be a Christian, and go into the beer store or liquor store and buy from them and give your testimony.  You have lost all credibility.  Think about it. 

I try to spend time in the Word everyday.  I pray everyday.  Some days more than others.  We attend church, and we try to live a life  that shows others how Christians live and act.  If you see your brother and or sister in Christ doing something they shouldn't do, then you need to approach them about it.  I would expect one of my sisters or brothers in Christ to approach me if they see me doing something they feel is not Christian.  We should all expect that, but we don't because we don't want to upset family and friends, we just ignore it.  That is not right and we should all take a better stand. There has only been one perfect person to walk this earth.  He currently sits at the right hand of God.  One day I will kneel before Him and I want Him to say to me, "Well done." 

This may sound very judgemental or critical, and may not be politically correct, but it is something I feel needs to be said.  If I have offended you, hurt your feelings or stepped on your toes, maybe you need to look at yourself, and see if there are areas that you can improve.  I know I can.  Have a God Filled day, every day.  Love, L

The Emotions and Thoughts

I haven't attended a recovery meeting in three weeks.  It is so emotionally draining working through the principles.  I've dreamed every night since I started and the dreams are all too vivid, some almost to the point where I wonder if they are hidden memories from my childhood.  There are things that I don't remember about growing up and some things that I think are memories but I'm not sure. 

Working through the principles is bringing up a lot of questions that I can't answer.  I'm afraid if I want to find the answers I'm going to have to ask my family things that may bring up some bad memories and I don't want to hurt anyone, but not having the answers is hurting me.  So what do I do?  I've started my journal again and I start the day with a prayer.  I write my prayer, not for any reason, just seems to flow easier on paper than to speak it out loud. 

I've started principle 3.  HOPE.  Principle 1 & 2 made me think hard about my salvation.  It made me ask myself if I truly was a Christian.  Had I really asked Jesus into my heart when I was twelve or was I just wanting to be like everyone in my Sunday School class?  The doubts that were going through my head for the last three weeks caused me major anguish.  I know without a doubt though that Jesus does live in my heart.  It is just that my heart closed Him out for a while and now the pain of the repairing of it and letting Him live inside is sometimes more than I can handle. 

Last week, I started a new life.  A life that I gave to God again.  I took all my burdens to Him and laid them at His feet.  I pray every day now to be stronger and not to turn back and pick them up.  It is very difficult but I am trying to learn to live one day at a time.  I know that God is always there to pick me up when I fall, and I know that He has a purpose for me and my talents.  Now I just need to sit and listen, waiting for His call.