Where do I go?

My thoughts are clouded today.  I know that is the work of the devil trying to get me to worry, have fear and being anxious over things I have no control over. 

I get a devotional everyday except Sunday from Truthforlife.org.  It is done by Pastor Alaister Beggs, who is a Baptist pastor in Ohio and he is on the radio and I love him.  He speaks the truth about the bible.  He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear.  He is not a "feel good" pastor.  There are a lot of those types of pastors and evangelist out in the world. 

As a christian I have my own beliefs and it is based off the doctrine in God's Word.  I believe everything in the bible, not just pieces and I try never to take anything out of context.  When I have a question that I can't find the answer to, I pray and seek counsel from God, and I talk to my pastor. 

I know that there are people in the world that use the bible to justify things that aren't good to make them feel at peace.  I've made a lot of mistakes over the years.  God has forgiven me for those mistakes and sins, and I am learning to forgive myself. 

I usually move my daily devotional to a folder after I read it, however, right now in my inbox, I have many that I have read, but feel lead to leave them where they are currently.  I keep reading the titles over and over. 

Here is the first one:

Find Your Life in Christ - I received this one on 12/27/10
Follow Boldly - I received on 12/28/10
Till Now - on 12/29/10
Anticipate the End - 12/30/10
Let the Thirsty Come - 12/31/-10
The Property of Every Believer - 1/3/11
Grow in Grace & Knowledge - 1/4/11
Reflecting on Light - 1/5/11
Say Goodbye to Anxiety - 1/6/11

As I look at each one of these titles, it brings a different thought but they read like a complete sentence or a list of instructions.  Can I do these?  Can I trust? Is my faith strong enough?  Do I truly believe the word of God?  I can answer yes to two out of the four.  Is that bad?  No, its just that I'm still trying to understand and learn as much as possible. 

Someone once told me that the only thing we need to believe from the bible is that Christ was born, died and rose again, and that everything else is left up to interpretation.  I don't think I believe that.  Someone also told me not to label myself as a particular religion.  Well I can't do that, because I follow the Baptist because the doctrine is closer to the true doctrine of the true church. 

My pastor and his wife gave me a devotional journal for Christmas.  It is wonderful and I have started writing in it and reading the bible passages.  However, I've only read the first one.  I'm not sure I'm mature enough in my Christian walk with God to understand.  So today I'm seeking help from the Great Teacher.  I am going to devote time everyday to read the devotional passage, make my notes and not move on until I fully understand what it is telling me. 

"God hear my plea.  Help me to grow closer to you, understand your word and live my life for you.  Father, grant me the wisdom and knowledge to help others to know you and to let your light shine through my life.  Father you know my heart, without me having to speak the words.  You know my love for you.  Father heal my heart, open my eyes and my heart to learn all I can of you.  In Jesus precious name. Amen."

Have a God Filled and Blessed Day!
Love, L