Basics continued

I wear an ipod or mp3 portable device when I clean at the church.  I sometimes wear it when I am riding my bike, but I only ride it for just now up to 7 minutes and 3 miles.  Anyway, as I said in my last post, I talked about the song by 4Him, The basics of life. 

So what are the basics that we need in life?  Well if you were born in the 80's you might say, a vehicle, microwave, television, computer and some kind of gaming device.  If you were born in the 90's it would include the internet, cell phone, unlimited bank account and a college degree paid for by someone other than yourself.  Okay, so that might be a little harsh, but a lot of kids that are going to college now, think that their parents should foot the bill.  They feel they deserve it, even if they are not planning on using their degree.   Okay so that is another post.

Really though what are the basics, that we as adults need to survive in this world?  I'm not talking about material things like an expensive house, or car, or designer clothes.  I'm talking basics.  You know like a roof over your head.  Does that mean that you are entitled to a home of your choosing?  No, it means a place that is warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and dry when it is raining.  What else is it that we need?  Food on the table right?  Does that mean that society is to pay for your food?  No.  Does it mean that you take your food stamps and go buy steak and lobster?  It shouldn't, but I have seen that done. 

It the days of the bible people ate bread, drank what wine, but it is not like the wine of today.  It was actually a mulled ale or something along that lines.  If you had meat it was from your flock.  You grew your food and made your bread.  We take a lot for grant these days.  We think we must have meat with every meal, flavored coffee or an espresso, and those are not requirements to survive.  Could I give up coffee?  Probably not with out something else addictive to take its place, but I don't drink flavored coffee so I don't go spend $5.00 on a cup every day.  Okay again another post.

So food and a roof are two of the basics.  Air of course is a given, water to wash with, clean and bath with are also a necessity.  What else would you consider a basic that you have to have in order to survive? 

God should be first in our lives no matter what.  Our spouses and our children come next.  Those are also basics that we need in order to survive in this world today.  Without our faith and belief in God our lives are meaningless.  The more that God is removed from our society, the worse it gets.  So God is a basic that we must and should keep first and foremost in our lives.  It is not something we always do.  God never leaves us, but we do walk away from Him. 

Please share other things that we must have as a basic in order to survive in this world.  They say that technology is part of the progression in order for us to survive in a changing world.  Is that true?  It all the computers, telephones, cable TV and video gaming systems disappeared tomorrow, would life stop?

Think about that.  Share your thoughts.

God Bless!
Love, L

The Basics of Life

I dreamed all night long again with this one song playing through my head.  The Basics of Life, by the group 4Him.  I love their music and they have some really good songs.  Most would consider them old music, but it is all good. 

So what are the basics of life?  The song talks about getting back to a Christ centered life, faith that is true and love.... can't remember the rest of the verse.  What would you consider something basic that you must have in your life?  I am not talking about the most important and that is Christ being first in your life, but what comes next for you? 

So that is the thought provoking question of the day.  I'm off to work at the church.  I downloaded four sermons from Truth For life, and I ordered three booklets today.  I'm looking forward to reading those when I receive them.  My time with God grows more and more each day.  I hope yours does too!

Have a God Filled and Blessed day!
Love, L

Where do I go?

My thoughts are clouded today.  I know that is the work of the devil trying to get me to worry, have fear and being anxious over things I have no control over. 

I get a devotional everyday except Sunday from Truthforlife.org.  It is done by Pastor Alaister Beggs, who is a Baptist pastor in Ohio and he is on the radio and I love him.  He speaks the truth about the bible.  He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear.  He is not a "feel good" pastor.  There are a lot of those types of pastors and evangelist out in the world. 

As a christian I have my own beliefs and it is based off the doctrine in God's Word.  I believe everything in the bible, not just pieces and I try never to take anything out of context.  When I have a question that I can't find the answer to, I pray and seek counsel from God, and I talk to my pastor. 

I know that there are people in the world that use the bible to justify things that aren't good to make them feel at peace.  I've made a lot of mistakes over the years.  God has forgiven me for those mistakes and sins, and I am learning to forgive myself. 

I usually move my daily devotional to a folder after I read it, however, right now in my inbox, I have many that I have read, but feel lead to leave them where they are currently.  I keep reading the titles over and over. 

Here is the first one:

Find Your Life in Christ - I received this one on 12/27/10
Follow Boldly - I received on 12/28/10
Till Now - on 12/29/10
Anticipate the End - 12/30/10
Let the Thirsty Come - 12/31/-10
The Property of Every Believer - 1/3/11
Grow in Grace & Knowledge - 1/4/11
Reflecting on Light - 1/5/11
Say Goodbye to Anxiety - 1/6/11

As I look at each one of these titles, it brings a different thought but they read like a complete sentence or a list of instructions.  Can I do these?  Can I trust? Is my faith strong enough?  Do I truly believe the word of God?  I can answer yes to two out of the four.  Is that bad?  No, its just that I'm still trying to understand and learn as much as possible. 

Someone once told me that the only thing we need to believe from the bible is that Christ was born, died and rose again, and that everything else is left up to interpretation.  I don't think I believe that.  Someone also told me not to label myself as a particular religion.  Well I can't do that, because I follow the Baptist because the doctrine is closer to the true doctrine of the true church. 

My pastor and his wife gave me a devotional journal for Christmas.  It is wonderful and I have started writing in it and reading the bible passages.  However, I've only read the first one.  I'm not sure I'm mature enough in my Christian walk with God to understand.  So today I'm seeking help from the Great Teacher.  I am going to devote time everyday to read the devotional passage, make my notes and not move on until I fully understand what it is telling me. 

"God hear my plea.  Help me to grow closer to you, understand your word and live my life for you.  Father, grant me the wisdom and knowledge to help others to know you and to let your light shine through my life.  Father you know my heart, without me having to speak the words.  You know my love for you.  Father heal my heart, open my eyes and my heart to learn all I can of you.  In Jesus precious name. Amen."

Have a God Filled and Blessed Day!
Love, L

My Heart's desires

Psalm 37:3-5 (King James Version)

3Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.


The above scriptures were shared with me by blogging friend, and they have really made me stop and think.  I am sure I have read them before but I am not sure if I have really ever thought about what these scriptures say.  This is a promise from God.  As such we should take it to heart. 

Think about what it says, "It says to trust the Lord, do good (follow His commandments, live by the scripture), dwell in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit yourself to serving God, and He will make it all happen.  That is probably not exactly right, but that is how I interpret those passages. 

It has made me stop and think a lot about my life.  One of my biggest desires is to make a living by writing.  I want to write a Christian Fiction book, along with several others.  Being a published, successful author has been one of my greatest desires since I was 14.  The other is to operate an animal rescue and shelter and to train dogs for service with people with handicaps and to do all of this while showing others what God can do if you just trust Him.  Aha!  There's the catch!  You have to trust in the Lord.  Trust is such an issue for me.  It all comes from a past where I have been betrayed, but through recovery, I'm hoping to get past that.  I am going to a meeting for a little while tonight, but I am going to start attending on a regular basis, and I am going to start sharing things that God has done for me, us, so that they too can learn to trust in the Lord. 

What are your heart's desires?  Do you Trust in the Lord?  Have you committed Your way to Him? 

I would love to hear your answers, please feel free to leave a comment. 

May God Bless You all for the rest of this year and for the year 2011.  I know He will bless me and mine.

Love, L

The Calmness

Even though I haven't been sleeping well, my whole being is filled with this calmness I can't explain.  My dreams of late have been surreal and I jerk awake in the blink of an eye.  I never have a full scene in my dream.  Some how though I know that God is about to reveal something to me, us, my family something.  It is this very uncanny feeling I have that something is about to happen, not bad, something good. 

God is working and moving in our lives.  He does provide even when we don't realize it to start.  My work week or weeks will be short by 1.5 to 2 hours this pay period because of Christmas Eve and the office or church being closed.  To show that God does provide, I received an order for dog treats yesterday and it will be double the amount I would make for those 2 hours. 

Deep in my heart, I know that the move we are planning is the right thing to do.  Norman can work on the ranch or work off the ranch, whatever he prefers.  I will work on the ranch and go to school.  It is out in the country.  We will have room for Sioux to run and if I want a couple of beagles, I will be able to do that as well.  God is providing for everything except our personal bills.  There won't be housing or utility costs and we don't have to leave the place if that is our desire.

I know that God is guiding us.  Yesterday while I was cleaning, I saw the bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God."  I know without a doubt it is Him talking to me.  Don't get me wrong we are a little scared about moving, but staying here, in East Texas we will continue to struggle to survive and make a living. 

I picked up my journal this morning for the first time in 14 days.  I thought about that, and I guess it is because I am at peace and don't need to write my feelings down.  I've been praying, actually I'm not sure I ever totally stop.  I talk to God off and on all day.  He has done wonders in my life, our life, and it just keeps getting better. 

Do you have a relationship with God?  If not, do you need to know how to get one?  If you are a child of God, you should have a relationship with Him.  I'm not talking about going to church and filling a pew.  I'm talking about believing in Jesus, that He died for our sins, and rose again, and that He sits on the right hand of the Father.  I'm talking about believing that He was born of a virgin.  He is the son of God.  He is the word made man.  You have to study His word, believe what He tells us, and pray.  He will take care of your needs. 

May you all know God personally.  May you all have a God Filled Day!  May You receive blessings upon blessings!

Merry Christmas!

Love, L

While I Clean The Church

Most of the days that I clean at the church I wear my ipod and listen to music.  I have to admit when I first started cleaning, I mostly had country and some rock on there, but now it is a big mixture.  I have an Eric Clapton song, a bunch of country, some Robert Palmer and a lot of Christian music.  I don't see anything wrong with the music I listen to while I am cleaning.  There's nothing about getting drunk or doing anything illegal.  Most of the country and western is about the love of your life, and how you feel about each other.  Some of the other songs are about living in the country and just enjoying life. 

I sing out loud while I am cleaning.  If someone comes in, I stop singing and just listening.  When I'm cleaning it is my time to reflect on my life, on God, and what changes are coming in the future.  I find myself thinking and talking to God a lot while I am cleaning.  Sometimes, I will pause the music and forget and I just like to feel the peace and serenity that fills the auditorium or some of the other buildings. 

However, there is one of the buildings that is kind of creepy, well maybe not creepy, but it makes a lot of noises while I am in there cleaning.  It is the very old Sunday school building.  Today, I kept hearing the door chime from the alarm go off like someone was coming in and out, but the door never opened or closed.  Anyway, it is probably just my mind playing games with me. 

But it is usually very relaxing while I am working.  I know I will miss the church when I find a full time job, but I'm sure they will find someone to take my place if they need it filled.  I love the people at church and all though I don't quite feel the same thing I did a few months ago, I know that God is there.  Some Sundays and other days, His presence is much more noticeable than other times, but He is always with me where ever I go. 

Remember this is the season of our Savior's birth.  Rejoice and don't be afraid to wish everyone you meet a Merry Christmas!  Jesus loves you!  He will never forsake you, no matter what you do.  You can Trust the Lord with all things!  He will provide all that you need!

God Bless You all!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Love, L

Be Ready Before You Ask

God listens to our pleas, prayers, and cries and you should never doubt that..never.  Sometimes when we pray I'm not sure we always really mean what we say.  Sometimes people pray what my mom and dad called, "Canned prayers."    You know it is the same prayer that they say every day, every week.  Those are canned prayers.  Kind of like when you are a kid and you are taught to say grace or the blessing of the food at the dinner table.  "Fold my hands, bow my head, Thank you Lord for this good bread, Amen."  or "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." 

Something you are not really taught to do in church as you grow and attend is how to pray.  As an adult I sometime still struggle with prayer.  A friend told me this, "It's just having a conversation with Jesus."  That is true, and so that is what I do now.  For a month or so, I have been praying for God to give us direction, and I think He is answering that prayer.  It's just like the prayer I do, when I ask the Lord to do in me anything He needs to do, in order for Him to do everything He wants to do through me.  I thought about that a long time, before I prayed that on a daily basis.  Why?  Because I wasn't really sure I was ready.  If you ask God to do something in your life, make sure you are ready to accept the assignment that you are asking for, when you ask. 

I've been married for almost five years, but before I met my husband, I felt called to work in missions.  I even attend Criswell College in Dallas for one semester so I could learn more about the bible.  Things happened and I kind of stepped away.  I still feel that God is calling me to do something for Him, and I am gladly willing and ready to accept.  Since I've been married, I've wondered how my husband would feel if I were called by God to work in some mission for Him.  Now I'm not talking about missions in the foreign field.  I'm talking about missions here in the United States.  We have much that needs to be done here in the United States without having to leave the country to help people to Christ. 

A friend of mine that is married to a preacher, said this, "If God calls you to do work for Him, He will make sure both of you are ready before He calls one of you."  I took that to heart and I know that is true.  God is truly at work in our lives, and we are having to learn to trust Him.

Early this week, I had an ongoing conversation with God on one side in my head and Satan on the other side in my head.  God won and always will.  I was seriously starting to doubt my Faith in God.  Why? 

Well first I got sick around the middle of October and was still quite sick until just before Thanksgiving.  Norman got sick about the week before I started getting well.  He is still fighting it, but is much, much better.  We have not had much money and he has had one or two little jobs since the end of October.  I had to seek help from the Methodist Church here in Emory to help us pay our electric and they agreed to pay half of it.  However, the payment got there the same day as the disconnect.  So we were without power for 4 hours or so.  I have applied for numerous jobs and have not received one interview call.  Norman does have a job to start on Tuesday, but not sure how big, how long,  I am still working at the church about 18 hours for two weeks, and I was writing for two people.  One of my writing gigs ended on Friday due to her hand being broken and she won't open back up until after the first of the year.  So what do we do?  I am praying and still looking for a job. 

This is what I know.  God is going to provide for us and we will be moving in the fall of next year or late summer.  How we survive between now and then will be by trusting in God to provide for all our needs and that is all we ask for.  I will continue to work at the church and do whatever else I can find to do.    God has answered my prayer for directions in that I will be able to work for my sister at www.rememberwhenranch.com  teaching, and working on the ranch.  My husband has a job there too, if he wants it. 

God does hear us, and He does answer us.  So make sure you are ready, and stop praying canned prayers.  Be sincere in your heart, and tell Jesus how you feel, who you are worried about and Thank Him for everything in your life.  It is there because of Jesus. 

God Bless You all. 

Making Amends: A Step to my Recovery

I haven't written about my journey through recovery for awhile because I'm sort of at a stand still.  I'm at the portion of recovery for making amends, seeking forgiveness and forgiving.  I'm not sure I can take this step.  Yesterday as a matter of fact, if I'd had any Jack Daniels in the house, I probably would have had a drink.  Sad thing is I'm so close to completing a year of being alcohol free, I would have kicked myself a thousand times afterwards and been angry. 

So I've been thinking about this step a lot.  There are some people who will take my apology, or what I'm seeking amends for and be the type of person to smile, say that's okay, or I love you and there is nothing to forgive, or I'm sorry.  However, there are some people who will not, and even though I will have done my part, and the next part is their responsibility or what they will be accountable for, it scares me to death to take that step.  Norman and I have had this conversation, and it is true what he has said and that is that some will not even acknowledge what you are doing or they will think they have done nothing wrong, or they will be vindictive and mean.  I guess that is what scares me the most.  My husband just takes whatever is said and shrugs it off.  I am not made that way and can't just shrug something off. 

I believe in being honest, truthful and have always said, "If you don't really want to know then don't ask me.  I will be honest."  I have tried in the last year to tone the way I reply to people so not to hurt anyone.  It takes a lot for me to do that.  I'm not sure what that says about me as a person.  If I constantly have to watch what I say and how I say it, does that make me a mean person.  I'm not.  I'm very tenderhearted actually. I cry over the stupidest emails especially if animals are involved.  I cry at movies that I shouldn't cry at, and I cry sometimes just because. 

Fear is a tactic of Satan, and I let him win a lot of times.  I will just back away, or avoid a situation, or look away from a person.  I didn't use to be the kind of person that backed down, no matter what.  But I guess I finally got tired of being called mean, rude, crude, abrupt, and angry.  I guess I finally felt defeated because I was trying to do a job, or be what I thought someone wanted me to be. 

I've let remarks go by without saying anything, and have been humiliated.  I have listened to things said by people I trusted and thought were friends only to find out there never really were.  It is the whole trust thing. 
So as I try to figure out how to complete this step, I stress over what will happen.  My sponsor said that God will let me know who and when to make amends to.  That it is in His time that all will come to pass.  I know this, but it still hangs out there looming over me like a great big sign.  "You Have To Finish This". 

I have attended a recovery meeting in about six weeks.  I will go back.  When?  Only God knows that, of that I'm sure. 

Can You Hear?

Its that time of year where you see Christmas lights, Stores decorated for Christmas and you hear Christmas music every where you go.  One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Can You see what I see?"  That must have been a very magical or guess a supernatural thing they night the Star appeared.  The time when Christ's birth was announced and the star directed the wise men and shepherds to Him. 

We don't have a star directing us to Him now.  We have His written word. 

Although none us probably read it, take it in, or devour it like we should, it is there to give us and remind us of His promises.  We can read His word and every place there is a promise, it is not just for Israel, it is for every child of God and for those looking for Jesus. 

There are many times when I stand in worship service and cry during the invitation.  I know that it is God tugging at my heart, convicting me, and calling me to do more.  What more?  I'm not sure, but I know that as long as I keep praying and asking God for His direction, give Him control of my life, that He will continue to provide everything I need.  My faith is tenfold more than it use to be.  My trust is tenfold more than it ever was. 

God does not let people down.  He does not forsake us, and He never leaves us.  We are the ones that turn our backs and walk away.  Why?  Because of something we don't understand.  As a child of God, I am trying to live my life for God, to spread His word, and to show others just who Jesus is, the one true living God.  There is no other!  All the other religions worship gods that are dead.  My God, My Jesus sits on the right hand of the Father. 

Do you know Jesus?  Would you like to know someone who loves you unconditionally, no matter what you have done?  You can.  It is for everyone, not just the chosen people. 

May God Bless You as you read this blog today!  May You have a God Filled Day!  And if you don't know Jesus, I pray that He will send someone to you, to show you how to meet Him.  Your life will be forever changed. 

Love, L

Things I know For Sure

There are some things I know for certain and they are the following:

I know that the Bible is God's Word and it doesn't contradict itself and all of it is important, not just what we choose to believe and follow.

I know that Jesus was the Word made man, and that it is a living word.

I know that Jesus died for my sins and rose again and that He sits at the right hand of God.

I know that God answers our prayers in His time, not ours, and by His will not ours. 

I know that God never leaves our side.  So if you are a child of God and doing things you shouldn't do, God is there with you watching, and you should feel guilty and convicted of your sins. 

I also know that God forgives us, even when we are a Child of God and do things we shouldn't, but you need to get on your knees and ask for that forgiveness. 

I know that God puts people in our path at the right time and when we need them the most. 

I know that without a doubt, God brought my husband, Norman and I together, otherwise we would never have met. 

I know that God has a plan for us.

I know that God will take care of us, no matter what.

I know that God loves me more than I will ever be able to understand. 

I know that that my place in heaven is secure and that one day I will see everyone that I love, and that has died, again. 

I know that He sees what is in my heart, and He knows what I need and want. 

I know that if He comes back for me tomorrow, that I am ready.  Are you?

John 3:16 (King James Version)


16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Psalms 51:1-19 One of my readings from this week

I don't remember if it was Saturday that I read this or Monday morning.  But for some reason this one struck deep in my heart.  The sermon on Sunday by Bro. Robert seemed to go along with it.  Bro. Robert talked about the joy we have the day we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour and how some of us have lost that.  We should all have a burning in our hearts, if we are children of God.   This is the Amplified Bible Translation.  May it Bless You and May you seek God's wisdom and guidance in your life.  Love, L
1HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.


2Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

3For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

4Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment.(A)

5Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful].(B)

6Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.

7Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

8Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

9Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

10Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

11Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

12Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.

14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).

15O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

16For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.(C)

17My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

18Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

19Then will You delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, justice, and right, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering; then bullocks will be offered upon Your altar.


Cross Reference
A.Psalm 51:4 : Rom 3:4


B.Psalm 51:5 : John 3:6; Rom 5:12; Eph 2:3

C.Psalm 51:16 : I Sam 15:22

Is God First?

As I sat this morning reading my bible and praying and talking with God, this question came into my mind, "Am I putting God first in all of my life?"  As I prayed I asked for guidance and wisdom and the strength to live each day, one day at a time.  I do that every time I pray because I am human, and  I worry about things that I shouldn't.  We as Christians should have faith in God to take care of us, and trust Him to take care of our needs, and not worry or rely solely on ourselves to handle our problems.  We are instruct to give our burdens to Jesus, to live them at the cross and to follow Him.  I try to do that every day, and it is hard.  We want to fix things ourselves and honestly we as humans are not capable. 

We forget that God is always with us, during the bad and during the good.  So why is it we only pray the hardest when things are bad?  Because when things are good we think we are doing that and therefore we don't think we need Jesus. 

That is incorrect of course.  We need Jesus all the time and when things are going right, that means He is there handling things, because let's face it, when we try to take care of things on our own, we mess them up and most of the time cause more issues.  When things are right we should be thanking Him above all else and praising Him for what He is doing.  It is from the wisdom and knowledge that Jesus gives us that we do what is right.  Is is an easy life to trust fully in Jesus?  To have faith that He will answer our needs?  No it is not easy and when we do start to rely solely on Him, Satan is going to make our lives harder and throw obstacles upon obstacles in our way. 

Don't give up.  For He that is within us is more powerful than he that is in the World.  I read that verse in the bible this morning, but don't ask me where.  I read about six chapters this morning and I realized a lot when I was reading.  What might you ask?

1) I am not good at reading my bible daily.  Actually I suck at it.  So as of today, that is a new priority.
2) I do pray almost every day, but lately have been lax.  So as of today, that too is a priority.
3) Do I put God first?  Well I try to most of the time.  But what I realized today, is that I have been praying for Him to help me to use my writing to make an income, but I am not doing my part.  So as of today, until I get my website to where I want it to be, and my writing income where I want it to be, no more playing on Face book. 
4) I know the two great commandments, but do I obey them all the time.  I guess the honest answer to that would be no.  Although I am going through recovery for a lot of things, alcohol being the least of those, I still have issues.  I do hold grudges, and I have been judgemental and those are things I struggle with constantly.
So as of today, I am going to try to be totally honest with myself and I am going to strive to be a better Christian and obey the two great commandments.  Will I succeed?  Only time will tell and as I grow in my walk with Jesus, I hope to succeed without stumbling.  However, I do know that when I do stumble, I can go to God, and He will pick me up, wipe the dirt from my knees and love me anyway.  He will never forsake me or leave me.

I hope that some how in my blog post that I reach the hearts of other Christians, and maybe those that are lost.  Christians struggle every day to live for Christ.  It is not an easy walk, and no one ever said it was going to be.  May all who read this be truly blessed by God, Seek Him in your life, and place Him before anything and everyone else.  My Jesus is first!  My husband comes second!.  Love, L.

Trust and Faith in God

I am not sure I can put this in terms that make sense to anyone other than me.  Sometimes I think God uses my dreams to send me messages (okay stop laughing).  When I dream I hear worship and praise songs in my dreams, I don't see people or hear people most of the time.  This happens more than not lately.  However, I still fight my demons in some of my dreams.

I've been trying to trust God more and rely strictly on Him for our needs, my needs and I try to build my faith in Him by reading His word, studying His word and praying daily if not more than once a day.  I know that God is working in our life and I know that He will provide what we need, when we needed, but is that the end?  Does God grant us or provide us with some of our dreams?  I've been listening to some CD's that talks about having faith in God and that your dreams or life goals will come to pass.  One of the scriptures that is quoted is Habakkuk 2:2-4 (Amplified Bible)

2And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by.


3For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.

4Look at the proud; his soul is not straight or right within him, but the [rigidly] just and the [uncompromisingly] righteous man shall [a]live by his faith and in his faithfulness.

So I took this to heart and wrote down 19 things that I want to see happen in my lifetime.  I have even put dates down.  One of the things I wrote down, did not come to pass and that is okay, because I am pretty sure that God will send me where I need to be.

In my dream last night it was almost like one of those secret agent movies.  I don't remember the worship/praise song that was running through my head, but it was quite plain in the dream that God was telling me to Trust Him and have unwavering Faith and that although I was being tested, things would come to pass.    In the dream, it was someone who was suppose to be me and may have been, and another agent.  The control person looked at me and said, "Push the blue button."  The button would set off a bomb and blow up the building.  The other half of my team was in the building.  It was a test of Faith.  I stood there but for a second, because the controller (God) said push the button.  I pushed the button, the building exploded and the rest of my team emerged unhurt. 

Okay I know you are rolling on the floor laughing but it was so real in the dream.  Was God talking to me?  Is He about to ask me to step out in Faith?  I don't know.  The question is can I do it.  I think so. 

So I know this post is kind of weird and no I don't need to be committed.  However, I wonder if and how God talks to other people.  I know He does or otherwise we wouldn't do the things we do.  Right? 

I hope you all don't think I'm crazy and if you do, so be it.  I know that God is leading me and my faith grows stronger everyday.  Recovery is teaching me to Trust and I am trying to Trust with all my heart.  God is there for me when no one else is....  remember that in your life as well.  Love, L.

My journey through recovery

Tomorrow will be my 5th meeting with the Celebrate Recovery group at my church.  I still very unsure in the meetings, not because anyone has said anything to me, it is actually quite the opposite.  Everyone is very friendly, sharing, positive, and caring.  That scares me!  I have an issue with trust.  I'm afraid to bare my soul to people.  I told the leader last week, that I will never be able to get up in front of the group.  He said that was okay, that we would be back to two smaller groups in a week.  I think that time is tomorrow.  I completed the first two lessons on the first principle/step 1.

Principle 1:  Realize I'm not God.  I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.  Scripture:  Matthew 5:3  Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.  Scripture:  Romans 7:18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

As I worked through this principle/step 1 there were two lessons.  I was able to sit, think and be honest with my answers.  However when I got to the next to the last question in lesson 2 I stumbled.  I was unsure how to answer the question.  Now some people are going to read this and go "well here's some areas I can think of where this would apply."  My husband is bias and so he can't really help me on this one.  But here is the question:

Selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people.  In what areas of your life have you been selfish?

Can you answer this question honestly?  What would other people say?  What would your family answer on your behalf? 

I did write my answer down.  I felt I was honest with myself, but I'm not sure other people would agree. 

May you have a God Filled Day and Life. 
L

P.S. My husband who says he doesn't need the group, but goes to support me, stood in front of the group and shared some things with them last week....GOD is so Awesome!!!

Be Still My Heart - Listen and Pray

I've often been told that we have to stop and be still to hear God talking. Sometimes we are so caught up in our worries that we don't hear God. We only see the bad things that happen and forget the good things. We forget to thank God for each day we have on this earth. We forget to thank God for the sunshine or the rain. We forget to thank God for our sight, our hearing, our freedom to worship Him openly. We need to remember these things as well as we need to show non-believers and sometimes other Christians that with God all things are possible and that they just have to believe and accept Jesus Christ and they too can have eternal life. Because "Through Christ all things are possible." That verse is in 2 Corinthians but I'm unable to remember the verse at this time. We need to be thankful for all that we have from the food on our tables, to the clothes on our backs and the roofs over our heads. Remember to thank God for our health, and to pray for those that are ill or have diseases. Remember not to judge someone to quickly. You don't know what they are facing or what journey they are on, but ask God to bless them and to keep them safe. Remember God is always with us, and we are never alone. I often think of these words, and know them to be very true. "Where you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you." May God Bless you all today. Love, L

Two Postings

I actually have two things to post to this blog, but I'm not sure I want to at this time. One is entitled, "I am a child of God," the other doesn't have a title, but it comes from a sermon from about two weeks ago and the pastor stated that Calvary pictures all mankind. It made me think, but I have his illustration for the posting. Today, I'm all confused inside and filled with questions. We can't seem to get on our feet and stay on them. We pray, study, worship, try to do what is right, but I feel we are being tested and I'm not sure for what, where, or why.

Brother Joe, my new pastor, stated that man's spirit is made alive when he responds to God in faith. God grants us the freedom to repent, and exercise faith. Man's freedom also makes him responsible for his choices. God's sovereignty doesn't cancel man's freedom, we still have free will. Man was created to have a relationship with God. Our souls are unique. As a child of God, we are saved, have a glorified body, soul and are spiritually alive. If we are not children of God, we are lost, have a resurrected body, a soul, but are spiritually dead. Man is made of three parts, Body, soul and spirit.

As Christians we still have free will, still sin and don't always do what God wants us to do. He still loves us. Still calls us to come to Him, and we long for Him to come for us. May God Bless you all today...

Post#2

Calvary pictures all of mankind. Christ hung between two men - each had the choice of asking for salvation. One chose to continue to live in his sin - One chose to respond to faith and was saved. We all have that choice. Whoever hears the gospel will either believe in Christ or Reject Him. Which one will you do?

Post #1 I am a Child of God

I am a child of God, but I still fall short
I am a child of God, but I have free will
I am a child of God, and I am responsible for my choices
I am a child of God, saved by His grace and cleansed by His blood
I am a child of God, but I fall short of His perfect will
I am a child of God, I strive to live by His word
I am a child of God, and I want the Father to be proud of me
I am a child of God, I await His return
I am a child of God, Are you?
I am a child of God, You can ask Him to live in your heart.
I am a child of God, It is not too late, you too, can be a child of God, Ask Him to live in your heart.

Merry Christmas, Jesus is the reason for the season... Remember!

I Struggle

I struggle that my walk with Jesus is not where I want it to be, but I try daily to improve it.

I struggle everyday as a believer. I struggle with temptation and some days the devil wins, but Jesus forgives me.

I struggle on how to be a witness for others. Can you look at me and see that Christ lives in my heart?

I struggle with a past that still plagues my future. Past transgressions that took place after I asked Christ into my life. But through repentance and because of the Grace of God; I have been forgiven.

I struggle with a thirst to consume the entire word of God, but cannot read and study fast enough, but I push on.

I struggled with doubts about my salvation and faith recently, but Christ has reassured me, that I am His.

I struggle with worry for my friends and family who don't know Jesus, who have been led astray, and who let the world retain a hold on them, but I pray for God's intervention.

I struggle to live a life for the Lord and know that He hears my pleas, and knows my heart, and sees my needs and my desires. I know that only He can fulfill me.

I struggle with my place in this world, but I know my Lord is in control. I know as I struggle and stumble, God picks me up, dusts me off, wipes away my tears, and says, "Ssh my child. I hold you in my arms. No harm come to one of my children."

Trust - Today's Bible Verse

2 Samuel 22:31

As for God, His way is perfect;The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

I've added this verse to my email signature today. I have issues with trust. I don't trust easily and in the past I have trusted people who violated that trust. It is hard for me to develop relationships because of my past experiences. Once my trust has been violated, it takes me a long time to trust that person again, and usually it is not to the same extent that it was in the beginning. I pray that God will help me with this issue. I trust in the Lord, He has never let me down, and although, we are going through tough times now, I know he is protecting us. May God bless you today! L