Staying Focused

I have been trying really hard to stay focused and keep my eyes on the Lord. It is very hard however. I'm human, and so as such we tend to pick up the burdens we give Him day after day. Lately, when my mind starts to wander and gets tangled up in life, I take a deep breath, step back, and say, "I need to trust that God will take care of us." It is helping and I'm getting better at it, but I've called in the prayer warriors at church to help me along the way. I love the ladies that attend the prayer time at church on Mondays! They are all so sweet, nice and encouraging. Mrs Glenda Rice, is so sweet! She lives across the street from me and I love her to death! It makes my day, when I get to visit with her and talk to her on Sundays!

God has made other appearances in our lives of late... Living across the street from church just in itself has impacted my life. I was asked to open the church Sunday morning a little before eight, and was happy to do it. As I walked through the empty halls and opened the doors and the buildings, there was an awesome, peaceful, calmness that filled my very soul. I walked into the auditorium and I wanted so much to see Jesus standing in the front of the room. I wanted Him to open His arms, and call me to Him. I feel Him around me more and more each day. I pray that He will send us to where He wants us to be and to do what He wants us to do. Each day, I wait for signs. I keep the house as quiet as possible, so I can hear Him, when He speaks. ( I know its not necessary).

He has improved the relationship between my husband and myself, by sending us back to church. We are both more thoughtful towards each other, more caring, more loving, and we need to be at the church. I've asked my husband to try to leave the job earlier so that we might also attend Wednesday night services. I need to be around people that are strong in belief, faith, and their relationship with God.

I have days when I just want to go sit in the auditorium, at the altar, and just listen. I know He is speaking to me. I know He has a special plan, or mission for me, for us. We are ready to do whatever He wants us to do. God, I'm ready.

Trusting God

I've been reading and I've been thinking, those two things are not always good, especially together. Although I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 12, I don't have a relationship with Him they way a lot of Christians do. Its not that I don't want one, but I've never really understood how to have a relationship with Him. I pray, I read my bible, I attend church, I thank Him on a daily basis, and I try to display and show the kind of person I am because of Jesus. But I don't do a good job at that. I have anger issues and I have trust issues. I want to trust God with all aspects of my life, but I'm a control freak. Not as much as I use to be, but still a control freak.

People tell me all the time, to cast my burdens upon the Lord and then just forget them. That is a wonderful thing, but I'm human and as such, I still worry. I pray for God to show us where He wants us to be and what He wants us to do, but I'm afraid, not of what He might ask us to do, but what I might have to leave behind. Do you ever have these same thoughts?

My friend, posted on her blog, about if He called, what would you do? It's called At a Moment's Notice. Her blog address is www.strivingfor31.com and I highly recommend it. So I guess my question is the same, If God called me in the morning to follow Him, would I go? I would like to think that they answer would be yes, without a second thought, but would it really? Have you ever asked yourself that question. Could you leave behind your family, friends, house, worldly possessions and go to the far corners of the earth because God called you to go? Would you?

Has Your Heart Been Hardened?

Most people know the story of Moses, or as some people like to refer to it, The Ten Commandments. In the bible, Exodus, it talks about Moses and Aaron going to Pharaoh, but Pharaoh's heart was hardened and he refused to let the Israelites go. I think some times in our lives every one's heart because hardened at some time or another and you may not even realize it. It can be from being hurt by friends, family, co-workers or any one you may know. It could be a slight against your name, a cross word said, or something done that causes you to stop trusting, or it could be because some one takes advantage of you over and over. Whatever the reason, your heart becomes hardened and you become an untrusting, bitter soul. I just realized I was that person, and although I love my family, friends, and old co-workers, I am not or have not been able to really trust anyone in a long time. I guess it came back to being told over and over again, how rude, crude and abrupt I was, but that was because I'd been slapped in the face many, many times. Thought I was going to be commended or promoted only to be told I lack a quality that they felt was needed. Or I loaned people money and never got it back. However, over the last few months, I realized I'm receiving back what I gave over and over again. I will never be able to thank my family, Mara, Julia, Caity, Raven, and Momma enough for what they have done for me over the last few months, weeks. If it had not been for them we would not have had food in the cabinets or we might have been evicted, or not had any electricity. I know that God is working very hard in my life these days. I know that the part time job over at the church is where I need to be. I know that God is taking care of us, through my family and our church family. I want God to "chisel" away at the bad parts, and hold my hand and show me where and what I need to do. I know He is going to make it possible for us to move back to the pecan orchard, have utilities, and I know He is guiding my business with Vince, and that it will be what brings us through, when my husband's license are not renewed because of his wreck. All is in God's hands. It is God's battle and He will be victorious, and I want to be proof for those who do not know Him as their personal saviour. I want people to see what God can do for them.

Maybe it is time you search your heart and soul. Your heart might be hardened and you might not know or understand why? Pray. Talk to God. Ask Him for Help. Thank Him for what He has done in your life, even for those things that you might not realize He has directed. It some times takes a slap up beside your head before you see it. May God Bless You All. Love, L