My journey down the road to recovery is very emotional. In a post or so back I talked about getting a sponsor. After some major praying and a talk with the Associate pastor, I asked a lady at church. I gave her the responsibilities and she said she felt unqualified. I told her not to worry and just to pray about it. I told her if she decide against, that was fine and I would understand.
I have continued to work the book and I'm on principle 4/step 4 - Self Inventory. I've done all I can do now until I take inventory. I have a form, and since I have arrived at this step, my sleep has become even more erratic. I sleep 5 or 10 minutes, jerk awake because of a dream and then lay awake for 10 or 15 minutes and the ritual starts all over.
This is very important that I finish this. I will not let Satan win and cause me to turn away. I feel like I have accomplish much already and know that once this is done, I will be able to forgive and ask for forgiveness from those I've wronged. Remember Jesus is the only one that ever forgets. We as sinners or saved sinners, remember. It is a way that keeps us on the straight and narrow, because if we remember the pain, then we won't go down that road again. Now I know there are some that will disagree with that statement and that is your option. It is however, the way I believe, and it is what is taught in Recovery.
I'm sure that before it is all said and done, I will experience more pain, sadness, and tears, but I will also experience happiness, love and joy remembering the good things. I have a major support team so I know that I will succeed, and then maybe I can be there to help someone else make that same journey or a similar journey down the road to recovery. Right now, I just try to live One day at a time, and with my Savior's help, I'm succeeding. God Bless!
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