A Self Inventory - hurts, hangups and addictive compulsive behaviors!

I finally started with the inventory on Tuesday, the 20th.  I had a friend who has been through this partly get me started and now it just seems to be falling into place.  It is harder than one would think... remembering things that have happened, things that have been said or done to you, and then trying to figure out if something you do is a compulsive addictive behavior.  Oh and for those of you out there, a computer can be come an addiction.  LOL!  Farmville, Farmtown, Frontier Ville... Need I go on???

Anyway, I've got about six things listed so far, but I remembered a couple of more things that I'm going to add later today.  I may pull out some pictures and look at them so I can see if it jogs my memory some more.  One of the things from my past that has always been there in the back of my mind, sometimes in the front, made me examine the way I treated people afterwards and up until recently.  This is very difficult to talk about, but I want anyone who is experiencing anything remotely like this to understand.  I tried not to get close to people, trusting, or loving them.  It made me wonder if I had ever made my daughter feel unloved.  She is 24 years old and after thinking about our life before we were married, I wondered what damage I might have done to her.  Finally yesterday when she went home for lunch, she called me.  We talked about several things, but then I stopped her and told her I needed to ask her something.  Something that was very painful for me, and upsetting, but it would help with my recovery.  She has been great about this whole thing and stood beside me.  Anyway, she knows about this particular incident and I can out and said, "Did I ever make you feel unloved when you were growing up?  When it was just us?"  And as I was crying fearing for the worst response, she said, "Momma, you have never made me feel unloved, ever in my life."  Okay which made me cry that much harder. 

Okay so that is done, but I'm no where near through and there will be other things that I will probably have to ask her before this is all through, but I know without a doubt she will be there to help me through this, along with Norman, and the rest of my family. 

I hope that this helps someone else who maybe starting their inventory and having to come to grips with life.  It is hard, but it is one day at a time.  May you all have a God Filled Day.  God Bless.  L